The Chronicles of a Happy Life

This has unfortunately become a too frequent experience for me lately. In some cases, I just keep sleeping for up to an hour after the alarm clock starts ringing. Sometimes, the alarm clock just refuses to ring - giving up without even trying. However, most days, I do wake up with the sound of the alarm clock, turn it off and go right back to sleep. And no, the alarm clock is not right next to my bed. I actually get up, stand, walk a few steps to the clock, shut it off without hesitation, sit for sometime contemplating the various reasons for setting the alarm in the first place, one by one, discard all of them as irrelevant, take a sip of water and then lie down again. Then there are days when though I am not able to convince myself that sleeping would be the most worthwhile thing to do, I lie down and close my eyes, promising myself that I will wake up in 5 minutes. I generally wake up an hour after breaking my promise.

The saintly among you, and I do not mean it in a derogatory way, might ask why I choose to put myself through the ordeal of waking up this way. A person I know, religiously sleeps every night at the early hour of midnight and wakes up at 7:30 in the morning. He actually has breakfast everyday! Unfortunately, I’ve tried and failed in adopting this habit. Most days (or nights?), the only time I’m truly free is after 1 AM. At this time, I could either sleep or spend my time doing something interesting… Also, I need a full 8-9 hours of sleep each day, otherwise I become irritable and angry. So I generally end up being late for or entirely missing the morning class.

The same happened last night. I spent the night reading a novel eventhough I knew I had a CL class in the morning today. The class was supposed to start at Indranagar at 6:45 AM. I slept at 3:30 AM. A loyal friend faithfully woke me up at 6. I decided that an irritable and angry me would be worse than a refreshed one even if it implied being a little less educated on the mysteries of ratios and proportions. It took less than a second to weigh all the pros and cons, and make an informed decision about taking a calculated risk to skip the class. I woke up again at 9:30.

Any comments to help my terrible situation or to discuss your even worse condition are welcome. Please be kind enough to post using the name your parents or some friends christened you with - what’s the point of hiding behind the shield of anonymity?

Waking up late…

Sleep, oh sleep,
thou art the sweetest thing ever
Away from this world and its tensions deep,
I find peace in only this endeavor.

So many lectures to attend, so much to do
After waking up late, I sometimes rue
Classes of cl and the Software engineering lecture.
I need help to change, would someone do me this favor?

A lot of friends with the same difficulty,
All thinking, this habit is very nasty,
if in doubt read http://mythalez.blogspot.com
and so would tell you every mom.

Oh! Why did God design us this way,
so that 8 hours sleep is required?
Wouldn’t it be better for consciousness to always stay,
and not make us all tired?

[Book Review] I read ‘Childhood’s end’ by Arthur C. Clarke yesterday night. It is interesting and manages to maintain a tasty suspense, however it is not as great as ACC’s other works like 3001:A final Odyssey. The story has apparently been stuffed with irrelevant details and some subplots that do nothing to further the story. A lot of the predictions are way off the mark, but of course, we do not hold that against the master author.

[Movie Review] ‘The Rain Man’ sounds like the title of a John Grisham thriller and one expects to see Tom Cruise to come bursting in or out of some court any second.. for the first fifteen minutes. Finally, one realises the gruesome truth that the movie is about family, love and all that senti crap. I hate senti movies - they make me sad. To give credit where it’s due, the part where they go to a casino is interesting, but on the whole my recommendation would still be - “Don’t watch it if you are like me!”

The enemy loomed upon the horizon,
Bearing upon us swiftly, yet silently.
Yet another battle was to start that day,
Who’ll win, who’ll lose, who could say?

We came forth with weapons drawn,
swords unsheathed and guns loaded.
We thought we were ready for whatever was tossed,
but against a B-52, all was lost.

Some of us had stayed up the night,
preparing for yet another fight.
Some had begun their advance days before.
Some cried, “what is all this for?”

The entire paper of Compilers was predictable,
Yet to solve fully a single question, I wasn’t able.
A five percent weightage was all SE had,
but it tried it’s best to make me sad.

I didn’t expect much from Computational Geometry,
at least the defeat there was self-explanatory.
A few answers I did scribble,
couldn’t do much though; every question was a riddle.

In three quick strokes, the sword fell,
felt like I was under an evil spell.
A little more preparation could have saved the day,
All of the above is factual, by the way.

What do you think? Post a comment.

This status message worked like a charm… Within minutes of putting this status mesg, I was bombarded with BUZZes. That, I was not ‘Invisible’ after a long time probably also had something to do with it.

Had a really long conv with an old school friend. The poor guy was trying his best to convince me to get a gf. I don’t know how many times I’ve had conversations like these! In between, I actually started telling his points to another friend who was chatting with me, to convince him to get a gf :D Then, he also started trying to convince me!! I think, in India, it is not really practical or expected for every guy to have a gf like it is in the USA. Hardly 10% of the people I know in engineering have steady bfs/gfs. There are simply more important things to do. And if there are no suitable (for me) girls in the vicinity, there simply aren’t. There is no point running after every decent female who just talks to you, just for the ‘experience of having a gf’.

I was reading Rama’s blogs in between IMs. He is interesting.. but he tends to add a lot of abstract stuff at the end of each post.. dunno why he does that. Also, lots and lots of poetry/limericks.. I really like that. I know I’m not very good at it.. but it’s still fun to write.

Chintz and Sid got into Microsoft Research. Way to go guys :) Unfortunately, my iiitian brothers couldn’t get through because of the absent-mindedness of some stupid prof. I hope they get in next year.

Exams start from monday… and today being Saturday, I ought to be in top gear preparing for them. I have four exams - the three toughest on the same day! But somehow this time, I’ve absolutely no inclination to study. I’m not interested in the subjects. Grades don’t matter much as I have no intention of doing MS.. so why not just sit back and enjoy?

Today, R told me that he never studies for a test. Interesting. Attend all the classes do all the assignments on your own, read a bit before and after class. Isn’t that the mantra a lot of profs have been preaching since time began? I asked his grade in POPL. 70% of our class had got As and A-s. He got a C.

I watched ‘Closer’ yesterday. Watchable for the very different style of direction and Julia Roberts. Strictly for adults though :D

I’m getting screwed in Computational Geometry. A 12 in the test - that’s second lowest in my batch! Our code for the project didn’t even compile!!! In class, I get the same kind of feeling as I got in PR - a hazy understanding of what is going on. Everything, by itself, makes sense but I need to spend time outside class to put it together. I had that time for PR, here I don’t. I’m all set for a C. Like I said before grades don’t matter much but this still kinda hurts because I liked the course :(

Less than 48 hours to go and I haven’t even started.. must stop bloggin.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately. I found a lot of new things about a friend. Then, Rama's blog was awesome. It was great both in terms of style and content. I've found my ideal in blogging :D He inspired me to write poetry and the other friend has inspired me to be romantic.. so I came up with the following stuff.. Read at your own risk.

Thoughts of a hopeless romantic!

I turn around, to find her,
just where I thought she will be…
She was doing nothing in particular,
fortunately, she did not see me…

Isn't it so strange,
to find myself completely out of range..
But only about her I seem to think
even when the situation with her has no link

Oh! she is not the most beautiful,
and her voice is not extraordinarily sweet.
There are many who find her character questionable,
and some think that she is a dumb piece of meat!

I can't sing very well,
and I dance like an amateur.
I am not very rich (not enough, not yet)
all my achievements are too small to matter.

All of this is plunging me into depression.
My brain now registers no sensation.
In the night I cannot sleep,
Heavy metal music is all I find sweet.

Maybe I'm blowing this all out of proportion…
and this is a side-effect of weird sickness.
Probably there is no real emotion,
and only for a trophy, I am in this mess.

Soon, we will go our own separate ways,
never to see each other again.
Maybe, we'll promise to phone each other,
like two passengers on a train.

The above is a work of fiction and totally unrelated to reality. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental :D

R talked in a very strange way with me today. He was acting very hostile. When I asked him for a favor, he said, "YOU ask for favors… do you return favors?" I don't know what I've done to cause this.. must get to the bottom of this soon.

I took 3 tutes today. Hadn't prepared anything at all. Made a few mistakes.. but corrected them in time. The students were sweet… didn't trouble me much. Thanks guys.

A couple of guys in my batch have reportedly lost their mental balance. I agree that IIIT is a frustrating place… but doing 'it' next to a classmate!! That's really crossing the line.

Movie Review 1 I saw ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’, by Guy Ritchie. It was pretty decent, after I got the hang of the British accent that is. I think it would have been more entertaining in a novel.

Movie Review 2 I also saw ‘The Aviator’. Awesome movie. It’s a biopic depicting the early years of legendary director and aviator Howard Hughes’ career, from the late 1920’s to the mid-1940’s. The tagline is “Some men dream the future. He built it.” It has got 11 Oscar nominations, including best picture.

Blog reviewI read Jayaram’s blog yesterday night. He had written a really cool article about his childhood and how he misses it. It had a lot of personal stuff - like his confusion about love (cliche?), the mind-boggling pace at which his life and his city are changing. At several places he had said, “I hope nobody reads this.” - should’ve been a signal for me to stop, but I didn’t. It was a blog, on the internet, which meant every jerk on the planet could read it, so why not I? Plus, it was really good. I could really relate to most of the stuff. I got inspired to write a piece like that - I’ll write it too.. in my diary.

On Friday, my group did it’s Software Engineering presentation. I was disappointed. Inspite of what everyone said, we had a good team. We could have blown out the competition! Unfortunately, time was not on our side. I was busy with Felicity and so I could not provide the initial push till Tuesday night and we actually met only on Wednesday morning. So while other groups were preparing for at least ten days, if not two whole weeks, we went on stage with only two DAYS of preparation :( I don’t know if this reflects my failure as a manager/leader. I do know of a few groups which managed to do a very good job with even lesser preparation. But then they did have easier cases to handle. What’s done is done, I guess.. there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

A couple of days ago, my friend Shiben published an interesting web page. He portrays me as an ambitious go-getter with a obsessive compulsion to ‘maintain my position at the top’. Honestly speaking, he is right to a certain extent. I do love to win. And I have been quite lucky so far. An internship at Novell, rank 3 in class, house captain, a position on the Felicity core team, an internship at Microsoft and finally, .NET student champ… God has been really kind. But I don’t think I am the ruthless ‘win at all costs’ type some people think I am. I am very, very sentimental. Over time, I’ve gradually built a fort around myself but I still get hurt sometimes. It’s not that I have the perfect life. I envy my friends with steady bfs/gfs. I worry a lot about my future. I feel pressured sometimes with the high expectations people have of me. Sometimes, I imagine myself as a gladiator in the middle of the arena. The whole situation is pretty dumb really. I have no idea why exactly am I here. Neither does the cheering audience. All I know is that a lot of things have come in through those gates and I’ve a lot of cuts and bruises and some old scars. But I’m still standing, in wait, for the future!

For the past few days, I have been happiest at the first sight of a guy. No, I have not turned gay! It’s just that it is so damn difficult to find Jagan, that I am really happy when I finally find him. Hopefully, this weird situation will be corrected soon.

Thankfully, the last two days of Felicity were not as stressful as the first. I got to participate in a few events. My team won the FIRST prize in BizUnderstanding. Actually, we had an unfair advantage. In the finals, we had to present a business plan and luckily, we had a ready business plan which we had created as a course project about a year ago. Ethically we were wrong, but we wouldn’t turn down a perfectly good opportunity like this, would we? After all, cashing in on all advantages fair or otherwise, is simply good business.

Yesterday, we bunked the Classical music show. Chot! People said that it was awesome. However, I didn’t miss the rock show by Insomnia, our in-house band. They were awesome! A lot of people smoked that night for the first time in front of me. Bhaggo and Jain, as usual, tried to get me to take a puff, but I stood my ground. IMO, Smoking is really a very stupid thing to do. Not only is it not ‘tasty’, but even a little smoking is directly injurious to your health. The nicotine particles remain stuck in the lungs - reducing lung capacity and they might even cause cancer. There is no direct injury to the body if we drink beer or vodka. After a hangover and a some drinks of water, all the poison is simply flushed out of the system.

After the rock show, we danced. It was fun! I danced after more a year. I could remember the last time I had danced, as if it were yesterday. I had broken my heart then. Now, it seemed so silly to have fussed so much over something so small.

Today, I participated in a lot of events. Didn’t get a prize in a single one :(

A very stupid thing happened today. Two people asked me to give them a receipt for the receipts they were giving me!!!! When I refused they forced me to go with them to Dr. Jayanthi. Thankfully, she was above all this stupidity. She fully supported me. I don’t know if those people wanted to make trouble for me or they were just deprived of a normal IQ.

Mr and Miss Felicity was conducted today. Anand Rathi was a clear winner! All the girls were completely undeserving of the prize. The show was not very well organized. A situation was directly copied from Felicity ‘02. Couples were chosen instead of selecting individual contestants. The same thing had happened last year. KV’s filler was mind-blowing. So far, I had always considered his music as very high level stuff - not to be appreciated by ordinary mortals by me. Tonight, he played music which we could truly appreciate.

Never thought I would say this, but I felt a little old sitting next to the freshers. I saw the enthusiasm and innocence in their eyes which has disappeared in me over two long years at IIIT. They do not have any worries. There are no feelings of jealousy. They are very vocal in the support of their class heros. They wildly cheered for Rathi whenever he appeared on stage.

The day began with a search. My biggest grouse in life is currently that Jagan does not have a cell phone. He is the head of Finance Council - I require both his and Dr. Jayanthi’s signature on every cheque and it is a big PITA to track them down. After tracking them down, I have to explain every small detail and from time to time, engage in ideological discussions on philosophy with Dr. Jayanthi. Btw, I think a sure sign of old age is when you start engaging in ideological discussions on philosophy with people who are not interested in it at all, esp when they are in a hurry!

I just came to know a whole set of rules about bills from jagan. I had to send the following mail to students to make them aware of that:

Hi,

Sagar

Couldn’t they have announced these earlier, as soon as they knew that I was in charge of finance for the fest? I had a very rosy picture of my role which is actually turning out to be quite different from what I had thought. This time, I decided not to organize even a single event, so that I will be free on all days of Felicity and can participate in a lot of events. Unfortunately that was not to be. Today I was on my feet ever since I woke up at 9 till around 11 PM. I skipped both breakfast and lunch :( Several times I thought that things couldn’t get any worse, and then they did. However, the important thing is that I made it through and learnt a lot. If I take up a similar responsibility in the future, I am sure I’ll do a very good job. Let’s hope the next two days are better.

Bombay Vikings sucked. The music was just about bearable and that too only because of the expensive sound system. Maybe I didn’t like it much as most of his songs were pop, ishq-vishq stuff - not really my kind of music. Probably, people with bfs/gfs would have liked it. Also, very few of my friends were around. Most of the Delhi group people were organizing stuff so they were not near me. Rumeet, Amit, etc were sleeping in their rooms during the concert. A lot of people from NIT Warangal loved the guy. Good to know that at least some people had a good time. I did like one song though - ‘Ek Badal’. I hope I find it on the LAN somewhere :)

I had a long talk with KV today after the show. It was nice. Nothing much to write about, though. just plain BC :)

Not a very big deal actually. I’m part of the core committe in charge of Felicity (I’m handling Finances) and so our ‘Brand manager’ (Yeah, that’s actually her post), Mrs. Padmaja Kanda (affectionately called Paddy behind her back!) asked me to tag along with her, Su (overall incharge) and some other students to the press conference they were going to have. So I did. (For the unitiated, Felicity is the cultural and technical fest of IIIT-H).

Su, Kiran, Kalyan, Rama and I got to sit in the front facing the journalists. Kiran and Nikhil did most of the talking - after Paddy of course! Most of the journalists we had called didn’t turn up and lots of journalists we didn’t even call did. I suspect they were there because of the free snacks we were giving. An earnest man from the Hindu sat in the first bench and asked a few questions - I got to say my two lines, my fifteen seconds of fame :)

Then Paddy, Rama, Kiran and I went to the offices of the ToI, the DC and the Hindu. I saw the inside of a newspaper office for the first time. Each office was different both in looks and people we met. ToI had a sleek ultra-modern look and their ppl met us at the reception itself. We didn’t even sit down - two meetings got over in 10 mins. DC was cramped (for the record, kiran_s felt my choice of words was harsh) and the two ppl we interacted with couldn’t be more apart - one was a Brusque (note the capital B) old man and the other was a sweet, charming lady. the Hindu was kinda in-between. The ‘Metro plus’ office looked like a really cool place to work.

On the road, Paddy talked most of the time. I like her - she actually, reminds me of my grandmother - not that she looks very old. She was narrating anecdotes, fussing over us, scolding us for being late in planning everything which was causing so many problems. I felt worse because I knew that this would happen all along but I couldn’t do a thing about it.