The Chronicles of a Happy Life

Twice today, I expected my friends to let me down but they pulled through. Agreed, that the issues under consideration were small, but they made me realize how skewed my thinking has become. A term of Human Resources Management (HRM) classes taught me that every individual has some ‘interests’ and some ‘powers’ and one can get them to work only by appealing to their self interest or by using one’s power over them. Three Organizational Behavior (OB) courses preached that that there’s ‘politics’ everywhere and that asking someone to do something just because it’s ‘good’ or ‘part of one’s duty’ is just about the most naïve thing one can do. Economics did its small (since I had studied most of it before) part in destroying the little ‘naivety’ I had left.

I learned from my peers too. In my study group, I have a Mr. Optimism who sees sunshine everywhere he looks and a Mr. Cynic who sees an ulterior motive in even a baby’s prattle. (Who says IIMA lacks diversity? :D) In the beginning, I thought I was Mr. Rational who would stay midway between the two. Alas, I’ve been converted to the dark side. This has certainly had its advantages. I got some work done which wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. Most of all, cynicism combined with rationality have helped me have a better understanding of things around me. I now know why some people lose elections and some people win them and why everybody says the RGgiri¹ is bad but many people still do it. When most people get disheartened, betrayed and angry at some things, I can coolly move past those same things without a second thought. A close friend recently remarked that he had never seen me angry. He should have seen me when I was in school!

For the disadvantages, I don’t need to look too far. A very close friend is ‘putting fight’ for getting a girl he likes. The girl also likes him. Unfortunately, both of them are highly cynical people and full of suspicion over each other’s motives. Their ‘relationship’ drags on, lifeless.

As the song goes, “Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.” I think I need to visit North California, sometime soon.

[1] RG stands for relative grading and RGgiri represents the short-term view that one is better off via one-upmanship. I think that it’s not only short-term but also stupid because when competition is against hundreds, refusing to help a few is only counterproductive. Alas, it still goes on.

[2] After two terms of Written Analysis and Communication (WAC), I use endnotes now :)

I haven’t been blogging for a really long time. The reasons are long and varied. For one, it’s a little disconcerting to post something that could be read by my dad, my future boss and of course, my old and new friends.

Another problem is that I just don’t feel as confident and sure of myself as before. In my attempt to be polite and modest, I feel that I’ve reduced my self-esteem which is harmful because after all, nobody trusts people who don’t trust themselves. I need to stop feeling inferior each time I realize that somebody is good at something. I need to get used to having good people around me and understand that I’m also good, though not necessarily at the same things.

Nappy updated his tag post recently and now I’m thinking that I should update mine too. I’ve changed a lot since I last posted that. For instance, (only close friends would truly understand this), I watched Wall Street for the second time yesterday and now I feel that I like it better than Matrix! :D

I got rejected at both the clubs (Beta (Finance club) and Entre) that I had applied to (In IIMA, club selections are serious business with people applying with forms and club co-ordinators conducting semi-formal interactions). This hurt. I can’t blame the co-ords though, after all, I was practically non-existent on the extra-curricular scene in my entire stay here – a big contrast from my IIIT days.

I have become used to the constant ‘fear’ of quizzes, nay, I have become numbed to them. The gods of marks (gods were invented so that men have someone to attribute things that they don’t understand, right?) seem to be playing a game with me. On one hand, Marketing is the subject that I’m least passionate about and I totally cracked the Marketing quiz (scored highest across sections). On the other hand, I got licked like India in an India-Aus cricket match (I even crack sports jokes now!) in the Finance quiz which is a subject I deeply love.

Yesterday, I got my first bumps for after-class CP (class participation). In IIMA, for the greater common good, it’s a generally accepted rule that if anybody causes the professor to exceed the lecture time limit by putting CP, he or she will be given bumps. I completely support this rule too! Anyhoo, the eco prof. was explaining some very complicated concept that most of the class had given up trying to understand and was almost asleep. I was part of the remaining minority. In my complete involvement in the discussion, I lost track of the time and asked a question, one minute after the end of the class. In the next instant, I heard the class give a collective sigh and I realized that I was going to get ‘hurt real bad’ (Ref Russel Peters video) in the next few minutes. The prof answered, I listened and then after the class ended, I got several hard kicks to the rear :(

A high-point of my day is the one hour or so that I spend in the gym. I had been doing only cardio exercises till very recently, but now I’ve started doing weights too. The feeling of pumping iron is simply unmatchable :) I hope to be able to continue this in my job too.

As for the title, that’s an album by Collective Soul (I’ve been listening to a lot of Collective Soul and U2 these days and practically no Linkin Park (yet another change in me!)). Also, in some ways, it represents my state of mind over the past several days.

(This was written by a guy from my section here in IIMA. It’s based on a MANAC (Managerial Accounting and Control) case on overheads called ‘You and Ramesh’)

Main aur Ramesh aaksar ye baatein karte hai,
agar mujhe overhead samagh me aata to kaisa hota,
overhead ye kehta, overhead wo kehta,
overhad aisa hota, overhead waisa hota,
main aur ramesh,

Song in background:
Ru ru ru..

Yeh kaha, aa gaye hum, yu manac padhte padhte,
Overhead ke pairo pe hai janam, mere sare number pighalte - 2

Song ends:
Ye quiz hai ki overhead ki khuli hui zulphe,
ye chaand hai ya mere paper pe ZERO,
ye sitare hai ya paper pe cross,
ye hava ka jhoka hai ya behoshi cha rahi hai,
ye patton ki thartharahat hai ya main kaap raha hu,
ye sochta hu mai kab se gumsum,

Majbur hai ye haalat iidhar bhi, udhar bhi,
Overhead ka ye khauf iidhar bhi, udhar bhi,
kehne ko to bahut kuch hai par kisse kahe hum,
kab tak yuhi khamosh rahe hum, aur sahe hum,
ki jab mujhe bhi ye khabar hai,
ki overhead nahi hai, nahi hai, nahi hai,
magar dil kehta hi,
overhead yahi hai, yahi hai, yehi kahi hai.

P.S. I’m just back from the daaru party on D21 terrace. Life is very good

On the other hand, life is good. Yesterday, I watched a play and had dinner in a very nice place. The play was in Natrani theatre on the banks of the Sabarmati. It was called Sacrifice and was performed by students of MICA. Vinz’s friend was in the marketing team and he got tickets for about 13 of us facchas (first year students) who went together. I loved it. The set reminded me of Gopalvan (an open air theatre in my school) and the play was a very welcome change from the standard entertainment fare of movies and Quake 3 that I’d become accustomed to. After that, Vinz, Chameli, MKaty and I had dinner in a place called Lounge 9. Nice place. It was my treat for J P Morgan.

About J P Morgan, that’s the company I’m going to be joining for my summer internship. It’s practically a dream come true and I’m so looking forward to it.

That yoga thing (refer previous post) didn’t last after all :( but I did start going to the gym. Hope that at least this lasts.

I got an A- in Marketing. I’m very happy because not only is this probably the highest grade across sections but also because it’s a soft/fart course and I usually do terribly in such courses.

I took part in the tug-of-war between sections. I was the anchor! (Yes, I realize that I’m getting too fat). In the first round, we were actually close to winning, but lost and in the second round, we were practically dragged across :( (It was best out of three). The other section had some real heavies but I was still pretty pissed off about it and my arms and fingers hurt for the whole of the next day.

Confluence (IIMA’s B-school fest) got over a while ago. My cell, Finance and Control actually didn’t have much work but I still ended up spending a lot of time over it. Actually, some work is still left. Everything was, as always, excellently organized. IIM Ahmedabad is too good!

The workload has magically shrunk after summers. I didn’t realize how much time the form-filling and attending ppts was taking until it all stopped. I’ve watched so many movies over the past few days that I’ve now grown tired of them. So these days, I spend a lot of time orkutting and chatting with friends, asking them the same old question that they ask me – ‘Howz life?’

Google took over YouTube. Now, if only Google takes over bloglines, it’ll have a near monopoly on my web browser. Tata Steel took over Corus. Go India go!

I’m spending a lot of time attending company ppts and filling online/written application forms these days. There is no dearth of jobs here.. but everybody wants everything. So everybody fills loads of forms filled with questions like ‘Why do you want to join our company?’. The fact that others even in other IIMs are going through this, does not make up for it.

Had an informal interaction with a prof here. He’s lived a very interesting life. He has a B.Sc and had the opportunity to study Nuclear Physics at MIT. But his father thought that the US economy is going to go down after the Vietnam war and that there was not much scope for nuclear physics anyway, so he asked his son to study commerce. Consequently, the prof became a CA gold medallist, did a PGPDM from IIMA, joined a consult, switched to a client company, advanced to a high post (meanwhile, travelled to and lived in hazaar places across the world), took early retirement, met the IIMA director by chance at an airport and agreed to teach here - all decisions taken in less than two seconds! He says that he even chose his wife that quickly. Interesting approach, but completely opposite to the way I approach things currently.

I watched the first season of ‘Sex and the City’ - I should stop watching such girly series!!

Also, watched Mulholland Drive. Didn’t understand it one bit. Will read up on it later. This just might be my new Matrix :)

Diwali was yesterday. Did all the usual special things like eating sweets, bursting crackers, doing puja, etc. Didn’t feel anything special :( I miss home.
A few days ago, I met up with a friend from IIMB when he came over for the IIMA-IIMB sports meet (IIMA won.. obviously!). Those chaps have it so easy - no marks for CP, all quizzes are announced.. and there’s even a prof who says you don’t need to study too hard!! Yesterday, he scrapped me on orkut saying that he had a test today - a Sunday! and the day right after Diwali!! Schadenfreud? whatever.

A friend taught me some Yoga/Pranayam yesterday. This is the third time, I’ve been taught stuff like this. First, it was some yoga teacher at school. Then, my mom and grandfather ganged up on me inspired by some baba on TV and now this. But this was different. He explained everything in a very scientific, engineering sort-of way. I’m thoroughly convinced for now. I did all the exercises today morning. He says that if I do them continuosuly for 21 days, it will become a habit. 1 down. 20 to go.

Had a BC session yest!! Almost never happens here.. there are some ‘diversions’ to class / group discussions and some arbit conversations at mess tables, but people’s rooms are offlimits. People at IIMA are human after all!

The Group, i.e. Mastram, Constable, MKaty, Chameli, Munni and I had to make a presentation for the Quantitative Methods (of all things!) class tommorrow. Since we had discussed the problem before and I had to catch up on my sleep, I decided to bunk the meet with the polite invitation to the group to wake me up in case I was required. At 2AM, I was jolted out of my sleep - the group had an insurmountable problem and my services were urgently required. I walked down to Constable’s room. When I got there, everybody was deep in discussion about the problem. I made the usual teasing remarks to MKaty and then settled down to read something. In minutes, they had found the solution by themselves. After that, my only contribution was telling them what they already knew and suggesting small changes in the ppt to make it look pseuder (my favorite word for several days now :D). Then, they asked ME to explain the ppt that they had prepared, to them. The music was good and I got a free cup of tea but next time, I’m asking for a fat consulting fee :)

I installed Quake 3 on my PC yesterday night. The first time I played, I just about managed to win in hardcore with Major, Sorlag and Doom in DM17, but after a couple of games, I was back to my old self. I suppose this is one of the things one can’t just forget. I can’t describe the pleasure of fragging Major Hardcore with an air-to-air rocket!

Watched a movie - Lucky Number Slevin. It’s slick and has these delightful little unpredictable twists that are getting so rare these days (this probably has to do with the fact that I’ve watched a lot of movies in iiit).

There’s an interesting video resume of a guy who wants to join an ibank… Dealbreaker did an article on it called ‘How not to apply for an ibank job’ :D

Ever since I wrote this post, I had made up my mind to update it/write a new post after spending some time at B-school. So here’s the gyan:

The short answer is: No clear answer. There are pluses and minuses.

Work-ex means increased emotional maturity, which is a big plus whatever you do here. It also means more professionalism, which is a pre-requisite for survival in this place. College dudes and dudettes used to ever-postponing deadlines and paying lipservice to ethicality/gender-sensitivity (there is simply no compromise on ethics here at IIMA and notice that I said ‘dudettes’ too!) could have a harder time adapting to the new environment than their more experienced colleagues.

Work-ex can also be more directly beneficial. Work-ex at a consulting organization like McKinsey, or an investment bank like Lehman Brothers or even a market research organization like AC Nielsen will help you land sure shortlists (trust me, that’s a big deal) during summer placements and will also help in a lot of courses. Work-ex relating to operations management or marketing/corporate finance would definitely help in related courses. Work-ex in software does not really help. Of course, all people with work-ex have written many more reports and made many more presentations than any fresher and so they have a small advantage in those areas.

On the other hand, the biggest disadvantage of having work-ex, especially if it’s more than two years is that at that age, people have lost contact with academics. Math that was easy in school appears like Greek and Latin to them. Silly rules of professors (not that many, but they do exist) are that much tougher to digest. They also tend to be less competitive. Exceptions abound, but when it comes to mustering up the enthusiasm to walk 800m in the hot sun to examine his or her end-term paper just in case there’s been a mistake in correction, work-ex people are generally found sleeping behind. I’m sure there would also be the little odd kick to the ego when some guy, who’s as young as the chump one was used to ordering about in the office, refuses point blank to help with those ‘difficult’ quant problems. Another problem is that if like most people, one wants to apply to an investment bank, work-ex on the resume is a disdvantage.

Then again there is the problem of perception. It is a fact that most people here with work-ex have been writing CAT ever since their final year of college. Therefore, they could be perceived as not good enough.
To sum up, I don’t think there is much to be gained or lost by having work-ex. In IIMA at least, the best thing is to do is to get here as soon as one can and adapt as quickly as possible to the system here. If the profs select you, they see you good enough to study here - workex or no workex, it does not matter.

When I started this blog, I was most impressed by blogs of mythalez and smr and I guess that’s why unconsciously, I aped their styles. Then gradually as I read more blogs and started getting impressed by them too… the style changed to something more ‘casual’ (no word really fits - I sort of wrote more from the point of view of creating an archive than for producing reading material for other people).

Slowly, came the realization that people did read my blog and some of the stuff I wrote did affect people - won’t mention instances here, a lot of them are still sensitive issues to the people concerned and most of the relevant posts have anyway been deleted / modified. I decided to adopt the thumb-rule that I wouldn’t write anything that I would be too embarassed to shout out to a friend on the opposite side of a room full of strangers. (I think I read this in some site, forgotten where) I’ve also never had the journalistic instinct of ’saying like it is’ and ‘reporting nothing but the truth and the entire truth’ that some bloggers have, so I’ve never minded not posting stuff that I normally would have posted.

Over some more time, probably because of solving all those CAT papers - my writing become more curt and memo-like… which was good for archiving purposes, but probably not too good for reading… Now, I feel that my ideal in terms of writing style would be something like Doug Coupland. I read his book - Microserfs and just loved his style. If I ever write a book, it would be something like that. Logical, precise and yet completely arbit at times.

My dorm has become a very scary place these days. Not because of the hazaar lizards, handful of kittens (actually they remind me of someone so I like them eventhough most people here hate them) and the assortment of insects - but simply because of the mugguness in the atmosphere. There’s a guy in my dorm whom I shall call G who I’m really worried about. He almost never laughs and only rarely can one make him smile. His voice has become so soft that it takes a lot of effort to make out what he’s saying. In contrast, my time with my study group is totally chilled. I really enjoy the time I spend with them, but off late even they’ve become a little edgy with all those project submissions we had recently.

Actually, because the seniors are not here (they’ve gone for their term break), the entire campus has a very ‘muggu’ atmosphere. There’s noone blaring rock music at 2 in the morning and there’s noone posting arbit stuff on the dorm nb (we have a software called dbabble that has electronic nbs. Each dorm has its own nb. Btw, nb = noticeboard). They’re coming back tommorrow. Hope the atmosphere goes back to normal soon.

The good people of Mumbai, I’m going to be there from 15th to 20th September. Lets try to meet up.

Watched Omkara. nice movie. What is it about Ajay Devgan that makes him so fundoo as a ganster? I just loved his role in Company and now in Omkara.

Got quite a few of my midterm marks. I’ve made lots of stupid mistakes and strangely quite a few people here simply don’t make them. That’s the bad part. The good part is that I’m hoping that by the time I’m through with this place (rather, this place is through with me), I’ll be able to be consistently fast and accurate under high pressure situations.

We got our HRM mid-term marks yesterday - it was actually more of a strategy paper. I had always thought that I was good at that. My marks are below class average. Today we got our OM marks. I love that subject. It’s got the exact mix of soft stuff and hard math to interest and excite me. My marks are barely above average. I’m doing better in the other subjects and anyway, marks have lost their sting. I’ve seriously started to look at them objectively as indicators that tell me how well I’m doing instead of having some intrinisic value. But, OM still hurts. It’s been less than an hour since the papers were distributed. I should be back to normal after a while.

I’m starting to like ID. I’m still half scared of it because in almost every class, we are asked to take a psychometric test and I worry that one of them will reveal that I’m only a phony and not a very good manager. So far, that has not happened. But anyway, I like it because I think I’m understanding myself and the world a lot better because of this course. Also, I took this Myers-Briggs test. I don’t think I should reveal the results here - they are way too accurate.

Went on the 2nd IIIT-IIM treat in history :D It was fun. Thank you Vipul (I cannot bring myself to call him by his dorm-name!)

I’ve been listening to songs by Dido a lot lately, esp videos ;) Heard my first Dido song only a couple of days ago. Here are its lyrics:

“White Flag”

I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it
where’s the sense in that?

I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can’t talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of “it’s over”
then I’m sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I’m sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I’ll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I’ve moved on….

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be