The Chronicles of a Happy Life

The heat and pressure were intense. Several times, he had thought that he would be crushed, or that he would break down but the pressure had only increased further and he had remained standing. After a point, he noticed that he had changed. This was no incremental, gradual shift from what he was before. He was now fundamentally different from those around him – right down to his atomic structure. (Some said that the difference had always been there but was only now visible). He hardly even felt the pressure now though it was higher than ever.

He looked for those like him. At first, he thought that there were more than a million of them. But when he looked at them a little more carefully, he saw that he was mostly alone.

All his life, he had magically known that the world outside offered two broad choices for someone like him. He could sit in the tiara of a beautiful woman – a glorious diamond that was the envy of everybody around him – or he could become an industrial diamond – carrying out the will of men that was as strong as his own. If he chose the first option, all would know him but if he were to replaced by a cheap imitation, none but few would know the difference. In the second option, few would even know he existed but he would know that only he and others like him would be able to do what he was doing.

Of course, many said that the gods had not ordained this to be his choice at all! One day, he felt the pressure being suddenly lifted. He was filtered out, carefully selected and thrust into the open. What would be the diamond’s fate?

P.S. I feel arrogant today. I hope that this is only a phase.

I didn’t expect it, but lots of people really liked my last post, particularly the ‘confidence’ part. Also, quite a few WIMWIians have felt this low at some point or the other and a few gave me quite a bit of gyan. A common theme of the advice is that it is pointless to compare oneself to others as each one of us is unique and has a special role to play on this planet (implying that one doesn’t really need to be as good as others).

Simple as it sounds, it’s pretty tough to implement. Also, I’m not sure that any of us would want to do it. Especially, since all these years of competing have made each of us (WIMWIians), extremely competitive by nature. Each of us sets very high standards for himself or herself and is willing to go all out to achieve his or her goals. When the results are not as per our expectations, it hurts; but it’s also a lot of fun when they are! Also, isn’t it precisely this quality of ours that makes us so attractive to recruiters? Would J P Morgan hire someone who’s satisfied with being average and feeling unique, or someone who’ll constantly work very hard to achieve what he or she wants?

Of course, like everything else, this philosophy would turn harmful if carried too far. One needs to keep a balance between the competitiveness and personal satisfaction. I think I’ve not achieved it yet, but I’m slowly but surely moving towards it.

P.S. WIMWI stands for Well Known Institute of Management in Western India which is what we like to call IIMA.

How to be happy? Jeevan Vidya says that happiness is only transitory and that one should strive for Anand (there is no exact corresponding word in English, but bliss is close) which arises out of being in harmony with yourself, your family, your society and the natural environment. Steve Jobs, in his famous “Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish” speech said that each day he asked himself if he was happy and if the answer was in the negative several times in a row, he changed something.

Like most recipes for happiness, these are easy to articulate and appear elegant but are almost impossible to implement. The simplest algorithm to be happy, that I know of, is simply to convince yourself into thinking that you are happy. Smile and you’ll automatically feel better. Laugh and the world suddenly stops feeling like such a grim place.

And what’s the duration of happiness? Am I happy NOW? at this very instant? Yes. I’ve just finished talking to a close friend and that usually makes me happy. Have I been happy over the past few months? Yes and no. I’ve been happy at times but I’ve also felt angry, sad, lonely, confused, helpless or frustrated. Have I been happier on average (Is there an objective measure of happiness?) than in the past three months? Hell, yeah!

This is not just a theoritical exercise. In a few months time, I’ll be choosing which company I join for summer training and in less than two years, I’ll need to choose a company for a fulltime job. Should I choose to be a consultant, an ibanker, a technologist or a salesman? What aptitude do I have for each of these roles? Does that really matter considering that a WIMWIian is suppossed to be able to perform well in whatever role you put him/her? Should I care about whether my role helps me make a real difference in the world? Why? Would all jobs turn out to be just as exciting in their best moments and just as terrible in their worst?
Isn’t it weird that there are easy answers to ‘how to be sad?’ but not for ‘How to be happy?’

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

“There are 5 things you need to know,” he told the pencil, “Before I send
you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you
will become the best pencil you can be.”

“One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow
yourself to be held in Someone’s hand.”

“Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but
you’ll need it to become a better pencil.”

“Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.”

“Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.”

“And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No
matter what the condition, you must continue to write.”

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with
purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you.  Always remember them and
never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow
yourself to be held in God’s hand. And allow other human beings to access
you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going
through various problems in life, but you’ll need it to become a stronger
person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No
matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a
special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born
to accomplish.

Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is
insignificant and cannot make a change.

Things don't always go your way. Things don't always turn out the way you expected them to. Sometimes well laid plans are destroyed. Sometimes you are unlucky. At these times, the experiences are tough and even sad. However, one must realise that failure is a much better teacher than success. Actually, I firmly believe that everything that does not kill me, only makes me stronger.

Can memorable experiences be sad?
I think so.

Sorry Rama, but will write in more detail only when I have more time.

All of us have constraints - strong boundaries in our heads separating things we can and cannot do; things we can tolerate, and things which we cannot. Some of us can't eat meat, some can't not eat meat! Some people die in battle while others find the idea of giving up their lives for a mere idea ridiculous. In most (all?) cases there is no logic to these constraints - they just are. Sometimes I think that one should strive to remove each of one's constraints so that the function of happiness (or any other function for that matter) can be further optimized (as any student of linear programming and even anybody else with some common sense will reason). At other times, I wonder that if these are part of what make us unique and special; does it make sense to sacrifice them?