The Chronicles of a Happy Life

When we are children, we want to be just like our parents.
When we are teenagers, we become over-conscious to their slightest flaws and want to have nothing to do with them
When we grow up, we end up just like them.

Links
Why firefox eats so much memory?
The Evolution of Software Development - nice pic :)
History of Computer Science
10 reasons to buy Windows Vista
Multi-Touch Interaction Research
The history of kissing
Some cool cartoons on the Danish cartoon controversy
Firefox extension for gmail space

I do not consider myself to be one who easily bends under pressure. Yet, after almost a year of constant badgering by incredulous (that I STILL hadn’t watched it) friends, a cousin, an aunt and even my mother, I finally sat down one fine Sunday and watched Munnabhai MBBS. I didn’t regret it. It is the coolest, funniest Hindi movie I’ve seen since.. Well, a long time. It is an amazing movie. There is the occasional bit of Hindi-movie-senti, i.e. hyper-melodrama but it can be tolerated. Also, the arrow keys on my PC (I watched it on mplayer) helped.

The senti feeling is still there :(

Today afternoon, I eavesdropped on a couple who were fighting in the Microsoft Canteen. Hey, before you get all judgmental and accusing, know that I had no choice - the woman was speaking loudly, and I was standing right behind them in the line for the dosa. Apparently, the guy had said something that had unknown to him, terribly hurt the woman and she was giving him hell for that. I realized that I had been in so many conversations like that (obviously the one getting hell), that I could perfectly predict the words and body language of the girl. Then, I realized that for every time I had been thus lectured, there must have been many times when I had hurt somebody and that person had not said anything. So people, I’m really sorry if I’ve hurt you in the past - guys included ;) - please feel free to give me hell when I’ve been an ass. I mean it. I’m trying to improve.

I now have friends in FOUR different time zones - Chintz and Sid in America (MSR, Redmond); Siddhu in Korea; Kesu in London and of course all my friends here in India. I don’t know why, but I miss all my friends (esp the bombay ones) a lot this summer. Yes, I miss them all the time, but its more this summer.

I saw the movie, Million Dollar Baby.. Well part of it.. I didn’t have the heart to see it after it got sad. I really can’t understand the point of watching sad movies. One watches movies to escape reality, to go to a place where there is no sadness, to be happy. Why would anybody want to see something that makes them cry?

I also saw Lolita. It’s an awesome movie. Till a few minutes ago, I was terribly eager to see D. Then I found out that it was not directed by RGV (RGV => Ram Gopal Verma, for the uninitiated and those who don’t know my movie tastes :P). It’s only produced by him. But I think I’ll still see it. I guess my standards are dropping… What’s next? A cricket match? After all the pressure is relentless…

For the first time in ten years, I forgot to wish my parents on their marriage anniversary. Felt terrible. Told my grandparents that I wouldn’t be going to Delhi as planned and that like last summer, this time too I wouldn’t be able to meet them. Felt disgusted with myself. Then, had to tell the same thing to my parents. The disappointment in their voice showed clearly. I’ve never felt this guilty in my life.

Some of my friends crib that they need a (longer) break. Some say that they are feeling homesick. Others say that they are lonely with most of their friends gone. I envy them. My problem is not that I’m homesick but that I’m NOT homesick. My problem is not that I’m lonely, but that very often, I find myself avoiding company. The guilt stays all the time, everywhere.

Nothing of this sort happened in Bangalore. I don’t know how to get out of this mess. Throwing myself into work does help. It prevents me from thinking about all this weird stuff. That Microsoft is an amazing place to work really helps. Sitcoms are also a good opium. Bronzebeard, I owe you one.

I had hoped that writing all of this down would make things better. It has not made the slightest difference.

A few days ago, a friend decided to write a series of controversial posts describing people he knew. For some reason, I was his first subject. Thankfully, it contained more good things than bad (unfortunately, for another friend who was the subject of his next post, his didn’t). Unfortunately, the post showed that he does not know me very well. This is not surprising since for various reasons, we have not interacted much through these three years we’ve been classmates. To be fair, I don’t think anybody I know, knows me fully. While some friends do know about the girls in my life (questions about whom are apparently the standard content in emails-from-old-friends-to-guy-in-new-college!), not many know how much I really study (or don’t study?!). What everybody (at least my friends in IIIT) knows is that I happen to have a high CGPA and presto - they form a preconceived notion of me. It’s not that I feel wronged or even disappointed, it’s just the way things are on this planet. After all, even I have some preconceived notions about people which are not fully justified.

In some ways, I feel good about the whole thing. It certainly made my day when I read stuff like “he is one of those fellows whom God has created to look upon and feel jealous of . He makes you feel what a waste of human efficiency we all are.” It also gave me a glimpse of what people generally think of me which is always good as even the greatest amongst us (not that I’m one of them) would do well to pay attention to feedback from his peers. Thank you, Lu.

I met a little girl in cyberland today.
We talked of the now and the before,
trifles a score, about my dog and her cat,
both of us loved Ram Gopal Verma more!

She is now angry at me,
felt sad, though knew it wasn’t meant to be.
Said sth stupid just like I know how
Foot in hand, open mouth now :(

Little girl, if you are reading this - the size of a person is determined by the kind of things that person gets angry at. I am also very sorry.

The following was my first entry in my personal diary. I wrote it before I owned a computer, when I was in class 7. I used to guard it with my life then and until now noone but me had read it. Forgive the pompousness, I was only a child then. I’ve not made any changes except obvious grammatical or punctuation mistakes.

I was never young, I never will be old. I grow larger somewhere, shrink somewhere else. Whatever I do, wherever I am, I don’t go unnoticed. Entire nations and yes, in some respects even the whole world depends on me for survival. In my enigmatic depths, I hold unnumerable secrets. Some I willingly share, others I have hidden and will contine to hide for centuries to come. There is complexity inside me. Mountains, valleys, cities all are present in me. Yet on the surface, I appear plain, simple, open to all. A thousand vile drains could not corrupt my pure heart. one million young streams submit to me and I, a graceful monarch humbly accept their offering. To the gentle I am kind, to an arrogant pride, I am invincible. I may kiss beaches but ddeep within me an undpredictable anger boils which can destroy ships, cities, entire civilizations like a pack of cards arranged by a foolish child. I shout and bellow at those who challenge, but I also comfortingly murmur into the ears of a little girl from a seashell. I am Sagar - the ocean.

Feeling senti today,
I asked the sage a question.
Isn’t it sad,
that after all the years we had,
Not many friendships and memories with
the departing I have?

Deep in thought with brow furrowed,
a question in return asked he
How many among our own, have we?
Dodged it with some light talk,
joked some more about little things,
but the thought weighs heavily on my musings.

I do have a a lot of friends,
and an even greater number of acquaintances.
I’ve been the tutor of a seventy and hundred,
and am at least known by the rest of the kindred..
but out of all these people now and here,
how many of them hold me dear?

The Farewell function was organized today. Aditya Maheshwari gave a systematic itinerary of his life here and said all the right things. Imran gave a hearty, humorous speech abt his experiences at iiit. Vishal Mallik sung the song - “Sona jaisa roop hai tera, chandi jaise baal’, originally sung by Pankaj Udhas. Piyush Bhargava told the story of his song by the way of popular Hindi songs.. He was simply awesome! Khurana tried to be nostalgic. The Director asked the graduating students to donate their caution money to the scholarship fund. The Dean was in his element. He even spoke about Gaurav Jain (my batch) for a while! Prof. PJN gave the best speech. He spoke really well. The following is all of the speech that I could remember:

“Aditya spoke as if somebody had died here. That is strange since it is only when you leave an educational institution and start living in the real world, you are truly born! You spoke about Prof. Jayanthi, Prof. Jawahar and me… I did a little calculation on my own - You guys stay here for eight semesters and do an average of five courses each semester… there are 100 of you and so all of you have earned a total of about 8*5*100 = 4000 grades here… out of which more than 1100 grades you have got from the three of us combined! for so many courses you have endured us. I’m worried.. you have done so many courses under us.. how will you face the real world?!.. These memories will stay with you forever.. The frustration of getting bad grades due to attendance… the wish that you had attended that one more class.. etc. In short, I would say that you can take students out of IIIT but you cannot take IIIT out of the students. Good luck and goodbye.”

I can’t end it better myself. Farewell!